We made it. One year. Time is weird. It’s like.. it flies by, but it also feels like we’ve known you forever. I guess that’s why they say “the days are long, but the years are short??”.. or something like that. It’s early and my brain is a little foggy. But I wanted to type this up to always remember this day by.
You’ve changed so much in a year. Your little 7 lb, 7 oz oz lanky frame is now a 23 lb SOLID toddler size..You were so fragile, and now you’re rolling, bear crawling, standing, and so close to walking.. which means you have no fear of taking a step and falling on your face. You love playing outside and throwing rocks (the newest thing along with being in the water) but you also love being in my arms reading a book, putting up with my singing, or watching a Moana song. I always wanted a kid to watch Moana with me, so I guess I put that on you by my own doing haha.
You’ve changed me too.. You’ve changed my perspective on so many things. I don’t see the world the same way with you in it. I feel proud, yet so inadequate at the same time. You have showed me that I am capable of more than I thought…even if it doesn’t look like I carry it well or have it all together (haha).
The last minute C Section wasn’t how I dreamed you’d come into the world, but it was perfect(and not that bad) – and a huge part of our story. It did make for a weird start, but your dad is awesome and took care of you and me for those first couple of hours when I was babbling to you and had a hard time holding you and connecting with you.
Being able to breastfeed you, even though our journey with that was just a short 6 months, made me feel like I could do anything. It was very, very tough for us at first. But I knew it was right for us, and we didn’t give up. You also excelled so much and did so well when it was time to use formula, and I am thankful for that. Getting formula for you wasn’t always easy, but we were the lucky ones and somehow always had what we needed. You loved food from the start. WOW. Avocados, sweet potatoes, and bananas were your first loves in life after your mom and dad.
Your little personality is unlike any other. Your smile melts hearts, and you can quietly stare into the soul of others. I always wonder what you are thinking and what you are seeing in others- haha. You melt me with the looks you give. We are in trouble.
You force me to see what really matters in this world – and that is remembering that there is only one of us in this great, big world, and there is always something to be thankful for. You help me remember to show love and treat others with kindness – in such a weird 2022 time. Sometimes that means holding people close, and sometimes that means putting distance between ourselves and them. I used to let some pretty insignificant things get to me, but looking at you reminds me that it doesn’t matter.
“Mom Guilt” has been real for me. The anxiety that comes with that isn’t the most pleasant, and hit me from day 1. But we are thriving and doing what works for all of us. I am so thankful that I get to spend the majority of my day with YOU, and I’m so glad you’re patient with me when I need to put my face in the computer and talk to other people or help other people.
I’m glad you are loving the gym as much as I do – or I think.. on most days at least. You are like me and love the gym more for the people there and the lessons that come from being there every day. From the day you were born, there have been some really awesome gym people around you.
I hope you always know how cool your dad is. I sometimes think he is more of a natural with you than I am..actually, I know he is all the time. Haha. I can’t get over how he looks at you and how he carries you, and the look of proudness that shines all over his face when you’re in the room.
So many people have come alongside me to just give a little bit of love, peace, and encouragement this past year, and it has meant so much.
Jaxon – we are in love with you and we can’t wait to watch you continue to grow into the person God created you to be.
Alison Stall 